I think this post will offer a new perspective, because I am actually going to talk about the misconceptions about misconceptions about the dark goddess.
To soften the experience, listen to this wonderful piece of art:
I was listening to it while writing.
The initial blog that describes the #darkjourneys challenge on the Amino group "Witches and Pagans" says that dark deities are often seen as evil and bad and how that's not true.
I agree with that. Darkness is not evil.
The abrahamitic religions have a tendency to shun the darkness, to equate it with evil and put a holy light as it's eternal opponent. The neverending fight of evil versus good, darkness versus light, black versus white. (My humble opinion is, that it is this mindset that fuels racism)
The abrahamitic misconceptions are one side of the medal. But, what is the other?
It seems that pagans often want to soften deities, who have "dark" aspects. That they try to ease beginners into working with those deities, people who say that those deites are warm, motherly, soft and nothing to be feared. They say that they aren't "actually" evil and in the same moment, they miss the point, that with taking away the "evil", they also take away the "dark", because unfortunately, also in the mind of pagans it happens that it is heavily tied together.
But what are these dark aspects even?
Oftentimes it's death, the underworld, destruction, even madness, war and war frenzy.
Things we naturally fear.
And you know what? Fear is an absloutely important and primordial emotion. It sits in the oldest part of our brain and every animal in this world knows it. If anything about us is primal, then it's fear. It ensures that we survive, without fear we wouldnt exist, because our ancestors would have done stupid things and would have died before being able to procreate. Fear is a life saver.
And some of these deities evoke fear in us. And the most imortant thing about it is: THAT IS GOOD.
Fear means, that there is a shadow, because this fear means that we are afraid to loose our stability, our sanity, or our image that we created of ourselves and to which we hold onto like to very few things in our lives.
Putting this fears into a fluffy pastel box and saying that the goddess isn't really dark actually avoids this exact fear, this exact shadow and the opportunity for growth.
The dark goddess IS scary. She IS to be feared, the lessons she brings us ARE painful. But, the fear we have, is not the fear of the goddess. It's the fear of ourselves, of our shadow self, of our trauma, of everything that holds us back. Because, stepping in front of a goddes who hangs you onto a hook, kills you and lets you rot on this hook before she decides to reawaken you because she is merciful IS F***ING TERRIFYING.
Imagine a world where you are completely healed
Imagine a world where you have looked into every corner of your soul, into every painful memory and decide that its ..ok. That everything that has happened to you, that has brought you to tears, to suffering, to the darkest places inside your own mind... that its fine. That you are at peace with it. That no one can anger you, that no one can bring you out of this peace, that no action will cause disbalance. Only then, you can step into the underworld without fear.
Everything else is illusionary.
It is the exact purpose of those deities to evoke this fear. To push you into the cauldron, to rip you apart on the battlefield or to burn away your sense of ego-illusion in cosmic hellfires. THIS HURTS. And feeling this pain is the way to work through it. Thats why it's hard. Thats why it's real, and dark and scary.
Yes, they may hold your hand and comfort you, but you will feel the pain of healing. And then, you will feel the relief.
The dark mother is a healer, but the pain that sits inside of you is real.
The dark mother has been with me for years, she came to me with many faces and all of them hold the same terrifying but liberating transformative power. She brought me healing, she brought me pain, but she brought me to a place that is better than anything before in my life. And nothing happened because I said that she's "actually soft" or "actually pleasant". Yes, I love her from the deepest of my heart, Kali, Ereshkigal, Hekate, Cerridwen. But she is destruction. It's destruction of what is painful to you, but for that you need to acknowledge it. Running from it is not shadow work.
And this is what all the notions about misconceptions do. They are a direct consequence of a darkness-fearing society, that bans everything "evil" and "hurtful" into the shadows. This is the exact reason why these goddesses are considered evil, because fear itself is a huge shadow, that we - collectively - aren't ready to face. No one can face the dark goddes in all her rage, ugliness and mad bloodlust without even blinking an eye.
There is no beauty, all beauty leaves when you rot on a hook in the underworld (Ereshkigal) or you get devoured in form of a piece of grain by a black hen after fleeing for your life (Cerridwen) or she rips off your head and drinks your blood until there is no blood left to drink (Kali) or she sends your psyche into the underworld to fulfill tasks that will make you bleed, suffer and cry (APHRODITE)
Life isn't always pleasant. And that is what these stories tell. I love these stories, because they are extremely potent, powerful stories of human alchemy, of human transformation and healing. The descent is only one part of them. All these figures rise after they reach the deepest point, often death. But you don't get the transformation without the descent. You don't get the sweet without the bitter. You don't get the rebirth without the death.
Thats why these goddesses aren't for everyone. Maybe later in life. Maybe in another lifetime. And this is why you don't encounter them thoughtlessly. It's not a game. They can destroy you. And that's not an exaggeration. You have to be ready. You need to trust, that they will lead you through it. That there is some sense to this madness. Sometimes they come to you and they point to something that hurts, and it's up to you to follow the hint or not. But be ready.
A personal story with Kali
I was at a low point in my life and was unhappy with a lot of things, things I wasn't even aware of. But I knew I wanted a radical change. And that's what I got. I stepped back and told her, in maybe the one powerful prayer I said in my life: Mother Kali, you are the destroyer, I am stuck in a place and know no way out, I give my life into your hands. Help me.
And she did.
But she burnt literally everything into ashes. "Nice" and "soft" are not the words I would use to describe it.
Encountering the Goddess
A few days ago there was a blog post that talked about stopping to evoke fear in beginners. Under the post I agreed, and that's still true to some degree. But I also disagree. Most deities are loving and warm and soft. And even the dark goddesses are not sadistic who feed upon your pain. They are there to be this last straw, to hold your hand and to give you the foundation to do this deep inner work. That's hard to accomplish without a deep love for these deites. But they will also push you into it, if you ask them. So, know what you are asking for.
It's no coincidence that "know yourself" is actually one of the most basic rules when engaging in any magical endeavours. Also, some shadows are bigger than others. Some need to learn to release anger, or trust issues and some need to heal histories and centuries of passed down intergenerational trauma. Everyone is different, and so are the encounters with these deities. It's hard, but I truly love them, and I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.
In the end, you're getting divine bliss, ecstasy, peace, inner harmony and a greater sense of who you are. For me, it's worth it.
They are not easy-going. And thats ok. That's their power. Because in my pagan belief and world, darkness has it's place. True, frightening darkness. In my eyes, embracing this darkness leads to the greatest light a human can achieve.
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